The Dame Releases All Her Pain

The Dame releases all her pain

Pounding on to him

As for her, still unfulfilled 

and frustrated

Abandoned-

Left on his doorstep

A care package for anyone ready to receive it

Still work ahead

The Dame releases all her pain

Prickly little things flooding her head 

with undesired thoughts

His,
all this is still ahead

Dame can't see

How is one to get better 

Without the want to get better

Self inflicting pain

Leaving earth, oh that thought-

Dame numbed for a while till

Then comes her Knight and shining armor

And lifting his sword

Cuts himself and bleeds all over Dame
Releasing all her wants and needs

and all the choices come flooding down on her

Now Dame is ready to recover strength

keeping her busy: licking the wounds of Knight

The Dame has purpose now.

A Question To My Lover (Nothing)

I am now a question to my lover

My lover knows nothing

If it is all

That’s all he knows

Does "nothing" mean he needs to know?

A thought, is thought but buried low

And so it’s hard for him to hear

I want to speak and yet I mute

I mute tonight, so he can’t hear…

what

Nothing’s said

I am now a question to my lover

Nothing is the word to birth a zero

And so nothing (white noise possibly)

Is all that’s uttered 

with lips so tight

A fighter, who am I

If my lover knows nothing

He waits to hear and so time passes

Yet I near to nothing, still

I lock my deed and beg him (hmm)

Practically unannounced, my words

Come tumbling and tumbling they land on zero

And nothing worded

I am now a question to myself

And what am I, what I desire to be had?

I am to say… without a word

Nothing.

Between This Madness

It is a feeling between confusion and anger where these tears lie

It is more like what, than why 

I am confronted with

What is

I am in here- in my body

Yet I am not sure why

Why do I ask why in my answers

Or is it my quest or my journey to be

To live inside these…

So I walk or crawl

Sit or stand

In the midst of this

So I ask and cry for a release

And want to be held ever so close

Guarded from my own anger and fears

Guarded from my own perpetration

Relaxing somewhere deep in my imagination

Ever so briefly…

Ever so

Between this madness

These questions.

Life Was Here

Here I am, in my discontent

Red and thorny

All I am

Overbearing

Flower

Heathen scent. “Life Was here”

My displeasure lives (without hesitation) 

My home

My garden, blooming yet

I am – that posted sign

After all: I am

It is I the one dispairing 

Or is it everything around me?

I am wet- Oh mindless rain!

Without a slight sense of measure

I am torn beautifully

Left to die- no mourning

“Life Was Here”

Bright angel

Who lights me

Sweet and bitter- bitter sweet

for sure- I know

What beauty is left here- what beauty lies

what beauty dies

here, I am.

Diagnosed By Me

If I determine for myself

What I can't for myself determine

I begin to with a question, search

No desperation, no pressures

Because the answer is, without a doubt,

Right here with me

If I determine that it is

But I never appointed this other thing

This fallen feather, this rain

To help me with determining...

The acquisition of answers are natural to my persona

It comes naturally

So If I do well, with my considered

determination, use all of me with a little help 

from nature, I will always be established

And diagnosed by me, as me-

Complete and fully germinated!

I With Silence Lie

I with silence lie

Sorrow just like my sorrow

Cries just like my cries

Laughter- oh like an echo rises into the sky

Silence with- I lie

Golden at times and at times moldy

Hallow like deeper than air in a cave

And a cast of ants dancing to Silence

I would love to see

Myself receiving the message that it delivers

But it’s my state to be

To lie and wait for (my) silence

In the midst of the night even sounds manifest

Leaving even less room for my silencing port

So if I thought at once, the shutting of eyes or

The shooting of thoughts would have silence

At my door, all these knocks at my door…

Deliver me even more lies

Sorrow knows sorrow well

My cries, my laughter-

My Silence.

You're Not Here (I'm a Widow For Now)

There is a quiet space in my soul

It calls your hands to me

And you climb down my legs and down

Between my toes

I feel this intense yearning

But you’re not here

Not because I don’t feel you but because

You really are not here-

The clock on my wall does seem to count--

Look I remember you 

In my body… clearly

So I hang upside down

just to allow the blood

Which is you

To travel up (or down) my throat

My stomach is empty and I feel…

Lost for a moment.

Where are you! My mind screams

And like a flash

Of thought

Of you

Appear this you I know

And you walk into this dark room

And with your toes you dig in

then you check my strings

Making sure they are still strong?

(since born from a scorn I was)

I feel you

But I know you are not here

-My shoulders have carried this face

For so long that even now

I’m grateful to have it

And blood rushes into my eyes

And I see that my dreams are nothing like yours

You are awake somewhere, not here

You are possibly crying or holding yourself so tightly

That I feel it, but you’re not here

My stomach is empty

god! you’re not here

To feed me or give me water

I pull and yank the strings that have held me

Ever so far from the ground

And I finally fall

Yes, all my pieces fall so hard that 

my left elbow brakes

And my face, which has for so many years

Protected me, as much as harmed me

Finally finds peace on the ground

And the finger imprints you left goes

And this peace takes over me 

You’re not here

So if you’re not here could it be that

What was will never be 

Or what will be will be

Like you, I don’t know

I’m a widow for now.