Life Was Here

Here I am, in my discontent

Red and thorny

All I am

Overbearing

Flower

Heathen scent. “Life Was here”

My displeasure lives (without hesitation) 

My home

My garden, blooming yet

I am – that posted sign

After all: I am

It is I the one dispairing 

Or is it everything around me?

I am wet- Oh mindless rain!

Without a slight sense of measure

I am torn beautifully

Left to die- no mourning

“Life Was Here”

Bright angel

Who lights me

Sweet and bitter- bitter sweet

for sure- I know

What beauty is left here- what beauty lies

what beauty dies

here, I am.

Diagnosed By Me

If I determine for myself

What I can't for myself determine

I begin to with a question, search

No desperation, no pressures

Because the answer is, without a doubt,

Right here with me

If I determine that it is

But I never appointed this other thing

This fallen feather, this rain

To help me with determining...

The acquisition of answers are natural to my persona

It comes naturally

So If I do well, with my considered

determination, use all of me with a little help 

from nature, I will always be established

And diagnosed by me, as me-

Complete and fully germinated!

I Can't Invent You

There I am walking under the umbrella

Of heaven

I was almost caught up

With you again

You made me scream but the sound muted

Left me

You dream like I dream but my dreams

Take on a new meaning when I meet you

again

You walk away like I walk away

You speak away like I speak away

So you bruise me like I bruise me

And I confuse my steps with yours

Because today is Monday

A day in the month of June

And I still love you

I’m walking under the umbrella of heaven

Blue and filled with clouds I walk

Needless to say, you know

I can’t invent you like you invent me

You made me up somewhere in your dreams

Like I made you mine some years ago

And now I pay for it- another go

At it

I was caught up with your smile

But it gave me a shock

And I knew where I had to go…

Walking away like you walk away

With some sign

of salvation

It means some intervention

Will be taking place but I can’t resist

Playing games with the rules

If rules are made to be broken

Than I want to break them just

To rebuild them-

You walk away and you want me

To stay (like a dog

Kneeling at the foot of the door)

Yet you walk away

Where I in no way could reach you

So because today is Monday

A day in the month of June

I still love you

You Only Know What I Want You To...

You only know what I want you to...

So I will sit on this bread and hope you have the butter

I will walk to the park and wait to hear from you

My phone, I left it home

(I lost it actually)

I will sit at the bus stop waiting for you until

You come pick me up

I will go to the store hoping you will come rescue me

(I gave my last dollars to the guy on the corner with his dirty cup clinking)

I will go to the beach and hope you will come fish me out

I will go to the bakery and hope you will walk in to feed me

(Something sweet)

I will go to the Halloween shop and hope than on my birthday

You on bended knee offer me a plastic ring

(And say: I’ve been waiting for you all my life)

I will walk to the corner of my room and stand there till

I see the shadow of your feet from the bottom of my door

And I will walk to the cemetery with flowers in my hands

And offer them to the many dead loved ones that no one loved

And I will wait by the lottery bank and wait for that

Ring in my ear to disappear and for you to appear

And I will wait in the middle of the highway hoping

You will be driving slow enough to see me

I will be there waiting. Waiting and hoping for you to come

In any form to do what you want to do

Because you only know what I want you to… 

Which means you know more than me

When you do.