Friday, September 30, 2011

Roses That Die

You gave me paper roses
That night
and you looked at me with your expectant eyes
and wanted me to believe
Are they real?
They are here
still but the reason why it came to me
The reason why I hold them near
has somewhat disappeared
it has wilted... just like that

And you don't ask me if I love you
And you don't want to know
how you feel
for me, and will I ever walk the streets
with these roses... in the rain
in the snow or during this starry evening
with my hands all sweaty
Could they survive
the judgement of time taking my throat
and choking me... with memories

You gave me paper roses
And I can't remember when
You gave me roses that die
(it's timely life
lives always in our minds
in beauty and in nature)

You gave me paper roses
because you were afraid I'd
desert you? and so it was safer to take
the time to make them
but now..
I cry and I hold these
hoping that my memory will suffice
That this love I have is roses that die.

And I do love you because they
have landed here in the desert of my mind
hoping to live, passed me and always.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Please Be Patient

I will follow you and you'll follow me
And I will go places with you
paved or unpaved
but I can't right now.

I am feeling rather unwell
and a little unswell

I will carry your bags
and lift the weight from your shoulders
I will walk for miles for you or with you
but I can't right now

I am feeling rather unwell
and a little unswell

I will tell my friends and my friend's friends
to help you if you fall
and to know that is because I'm unwell
and feeling unswell that
I need their help to help you
not for long
you'll see

I will hear you sing anywhere
and I will sing with you everywhere
I will talk you up
and never talk you down
I will paint a picture of you in the sun
and maybe one in the rain
to cleanse all your pain
I will drink a cup of tea now
and offer you one aswell
I will have a smile on my face
but I won't pretend
that I'm feeling well
Cause I'm feeling unwell 
and a little unswell...

Please be patient.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

I Have Nothing To Say

I have nothing to say
but I am full of nothing
so i hope that by the end
of this, something can come
can give.

I try. I am here. I try. I do.

I still have nothing to say
except I will say this
Since I have nothing to say it is possibly
because I do, have too much to say

But my words are not coming together
The union of words, like
an awaiting bride
keeping herself from leaving... 
her undergarment has the color
red just like the color of love
and the color of death

So If I have nothing to say
it is probably because
the red I see is the red
I refuse to see
I scream: Why are you here in my darkness?
When all I could see is black.

I'd learn to appreciate you
when you leave...
away from me
my body is full of you
but I can't seem to have red
They are grey with envy
and blue with sadness
and black with anger

I have nothing to say
because If I speak these words will turn to dust
and I'll find the treasure of life hard to reach
And you think you know me
I hate you think you know me
When I myself, try to creep
into my own dreams
I myself climb to reach for myself
I go even to the deepest sea
where my fear lurks to find me
and you think you know me?

I have nothing to say.
So I won't pretend to
be giving
I have nothing to give in fact, so I will say nothing

Sunday, September 18, 2011

When Water Runs

When water begins to flow
I feel the sensation coming into me and
Out it goes

When I start to preach to reach or to teach
I feel the involuntary nature in me
Crumble and build a steady pace
When water runs

When water runs it's
Daylight in the darkness
And warm in the cold
Temperatures rise when waters run

Deeper and down under
Or harder than stone
I am scolded
I am bruised
I am battered
With love

When water runs.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

On The Ground

When I remember you
is when I look into your eyes
and find that there is nothing about you
that I see...

You change with the seasons
you stay the same
but you've added layers to you
I can't recognize you anymore
or any less
but it hurts because you hurt

I am broken because I see the cracks
I am broken because I see myself glued together
when pieces of me are on the ground
(remnants of the pain?)
I don't blame you for this
but I can't blame myself either

What is the use of crying when
the rain outside keeps clearing me
I see the dirt 
where it was once at home inside me
sliding down on to the ground...

I cry.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

When I Run Into You Again

The day I ran into you
was the day that clouds
began to crowd me
and darkness became darker,
mainly because of the happiness
I hoped you'd bring 
and the rain began to fall 
with all my hopes and dreams... through cracks
Because I hadn't learned
how to hold them

And so now I sit here
Scared, not knowing what
tomorrow brings
Sometimes trying hard to blink
and feeling sensitive to everything around
me (and my cat with his claws gnaw at me)
And I remember that instant
when I ran so fast to you that the rain couldn't touch me
It's almost like the blue of the sky had decided to forgive me
for not know what to do
when I ran into you

And I hold on to you, in memory
And I hold on to us
Was I ever happy in the midst of
all of my aches, was I once a soldier
in the rain, or the spark in all your darkness
When I ran into you... I wasn't quite aware
why the clouds were all around me
but the persistent darkness
wasn't bad after all

When the rain comes rushing down
I will cup my hands and pretend
That this rain that falls
are my real dreams
And I'll be catching on to nature
When I run into you again