He Said That To Me

When the blues came in and held me
I knew I had lost my mind
It's true because
I was (almost religiously) taken
by my swollen arms
And thrown into a puddle of mud

A day ago
I had been obsessed
With my sad face, my drowning spirit
Had taken all my hurt and made my
Fears disappear and reappear with a clown suit -
and no clowns are welcomed here!
He said that to me.
He said I should leave!
He said I don't deserve him!

And I cried. And saw my tears disappear like magic.
And the stone melted my ice cream
I longed to scream
and I longed to touch him
Myself
Me
I long to touch myself too
Like that mud that ran down my face
I am magic he said
So disappear he said

I said
For fuckin' god sakes
GROW UP!
And he said goodbye
And that's the last time I felt pain
The last time I felt invisible
And now I'm known for my courage and known for my brains
My brain is happy
Like it was never before
And I learned to tell jokes
I learned how to say 'Goodbye'
Goodbye too.

Goodbye!