A Wishful Heart and Courage

She buried all the love (hellos and goodbyes)
under a tree which wishes to grow-
understanding moments
"to come and go and go to come again''

She goes and sits on berries
melting it's essence into dust
what was, is now
what is, no more

No more songs-
Grandmother hadn't the courage
but to kill all her seeds in the burning sun
and that channel that once was running
oh, overflowing channel
has only dust and wishful rain -

Dead old skin
began building mountains on the land 
land that once had hope and land 
that once had love

And while she begs for food
in places where famine lies
"food hiding"
in deeper grounds that lie
(empty wishes too)
I remember now, mother
complaining to me
even now, complaining
that she was given
rough, dark, deep and empty airs but love
no love

There is Grandma with her white hair and her
invisible glass, glass that stood erect
all these years supporting her from falling into channels
channels that once ran clean and pure waters
What reigns there now is
dust and wishful rain
Oh, wishful rain!

If only she had courage to fall
then maybe she'd learn how to love
how to receive the gift that mother-
that mother never had...

Grandma sang to other ears not hers
other ears had the glory of her voice
when she sang songs mother couldn't hear
She had been deaf to feelings too

We all know that
Soon she'll lie for good, grandma
without care and without wonder
lie like the days of flowing waters
not into the channel but long into the wind
and maybe rivers that flow deeper than my mama's longing

deeper than the longing I still wish for her

Soon dust will be the news on yesterday's
reports and today what wishful rain may fall
will be the rain that falls into tomorrow's channel

And until then:
Mama lies in the dust as she dreams of tomorrow
while grandma breaths the wishful rain
away, away, away, away from mama's wishful heart

I hope for courage to grow there.